13 Jan
SWIPEFIX BLOG – How do I follow up when a person doesn’t reply to my message dating apps (2023 guide)
At Swipefix we have over 15+ years of online dating experience. Here’s our NO BS thoughts.
It’s happened to all of us, and probably more times than you can remember. You send an opening message on a dating app, and (crickets) you get nothing back. With the amount of matches a person gets on a dating app, and how busy and distracted everyone is watching cat videos, you just can’t expect every message to be returned. The person doesn’t know you, you don’t know them. You’re probably near the bottom of their list of things to attend to.
Many “experts” will recommend you say something, funny, cutesy, or call out the person for not replying. We feel that this is a little contrived. Typically the main reason a person hasn’t replied is because they are just busy, and you don’t necessarily need to call them out. It doesn’t escalate things very well.
Our Unique Philosophy compared to dating coaches or matchmakers
At SwipeFix one of our core philosophies is you can just put in the extra work, and you don’t have to always resort to cute “tactics” to get dates. Sometimes those tactics can make you look “try-hard” and doesn’t create a great dynamic to the interaction.
The Message
From here, what we’d typically recommend is escalating toward very general logistics, so the person thinks you may be hinting toward a date, or at least moving in that direction. If you live in a big city, or even a smaller town, the reply we’d recommend using is:
I’m curious what part of (insert your city/area) you typically spend time in
Now you may be thinking “But the person never replied to the opener, and you didn’t address that non response”
Dating app messaging doesn’t have to be a logical sequence. If the person is into you based on your profile, and you are escalating slightly based on your next message, the people that reply will actually be considering dating you. If it’s just a playful callout, they may look at that message like, “Do I really want to banter with this person more?” and stick to non-response. There are a few slight logistical escalation messages you can use in this scenario that can sometimes move you closer to a date, even with a person who is busy.
So that’s it. We try not to complicate things, and keep it simple. Do the extra swiping, follow up on ALL of your messages, put in the work, and eventually you will find people that are into you for you.
Message follow up is key
When you want high level results in anything, you need to squeeze the juice out of every drop. Dating app management is no different. Almost every guy we manage for, when we look into their app, they have multiple messages they have not followed up with. Or message threads that definitely would continue if they sent out a few more follow-up messages. Either it’s stubbornness, laziness, not wanting to get “rejected” further, or just burnout, but we see this time and time again. It is hard work to continue messaging and swiping, we understand. But if you want the results in dating apps, you have to put in the work.
SWIPEFIX is a dating app management service for busy professionals. If you have more questions, feel free to subscribe to our weekly email newsletter, or contact us directly. Keep swiping!
MORE SWIPE SECRETS (blog articles for Tinder, Bumble, Facebook Dating & Dating App management and more):
SWIPE BLOG article: Do you need to be flirtatious on dating apps? (guys article)
SWIPE BLOG article: So you sent a message on Tinder, and CRICKETS. Nothing back