13 Mar
SWIPEFIX BLOG – 30 Random Reasons Girls (or guys) Ghost on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge.
Disclaimer: Much of this info is meant for men, because women typically don’t have as many issues with texting. But we do help women find their ideal match as well at Swipefix, and have a lot of unique ideas to help women land their ideal match as well.
Through our decade plus of helping people with online dating, we find many guys get stuck working on tactics to understand female psychology. How you can reduce the amount of times you’re ghosted, and how guys can “improve their percentages”, so they can find their ideal significant other faster. So they can reduce rejection, reduce heartache and protect their ego. What is the perfect amount of time between replies. Should I be enthusiastic, or should I show no emotion? Should I play hard to get? What “archetype” is this girl and how can I “crack the code”, are some of the terms we have seen thrown around.
The Problem
The problem with this is it assumes that the world revolves around the man, and she is worried about you. It assumes the girl is actually thinking about you at all times and you are the problem. If you read any psychology book, people think about *themselves* the vast majority of the time. They are busy. In our experience, most of the time when it comes to ghosting, the opposite gender either got busy or just doesn’t have that much of an interest at that moment for various reasons that may not have anything to do with you.
“Rejection is not a reflection of your value, it’s a reflection of the other person’s capacity.” – Unknown
The Ghost List – A Mindset Reframe to Keep You Going on Dates
So without further ado, we’d like to present 30 random reasons why the opposite gender ghosts (that don’t have to do with you). Keep in mind this list is a bit tongue in cheek, but it is a good mindset reframe. In sales, dating, or other endeavors, there are constant challenges that come up. Constant reasons why you feel like you are “doing the wrong thing”. There are always things that will push you off your path. Reframing those negative circumstances into something positive can many times keep you pushing forward toward success, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Any time you get caught up working on your “tactics” and worrying about the other person not replying, just come back to this list. It’s a good way to keep you putting in activities to move your dating forward. If you get bogged down with tactics, many times that is when your dating life stagnates. Sure, you can always tweak your approach to stay engaged, but at Swipefix we always say focus on consistent activity and fundamentals (going on dates), and the results will come. Happy Swiping!
1. She/he got busy
2. She forgot you texted
3. She had to go out of town
4. She checked instagram after your text, got sidetracked
5. She checked the news after your text, got sidetracked
6. She had a family event, wasn’t able to text at that moment
7. She was driving, couldn’t text at that moment, forgot to text back
8. She decided to not date for a bit
9. She was on her period and didn’t want to talk to anyone
10. She is working on herself
11. She was in a work meeting
12. She was at work and her phone was in her desk, forgot to text back
13. She found another person that she is dating
14. She moved to a different city recently
15. She’s travelling and not checking her phone much
16. She didn’t know what to reply, wasn’t creative at that moment
17. She went on a 2 week trip and forgot about the text
18. She had a problem with her family and is not dating right now
19. She thought you were in a different location, and it might not be convenient to date
20. She decided she is now attracted to a different type of person
21. She wants to date people she meets in person for a bit
22. She checked twitter after your text, got sidetracked
23. Someone sent her a “crazy” video after the text, she forgot you texted
24. She got sick of texting at that moment
25. She got sick
26. She went to the hospital and got busy
27. She got in a car accident
28. Her living situation changed, she had to move
29. She had a fight with her roommate, and got too stressed out to text back
30. She forgot what you looked like after you moved to text message
“Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer.” – Mark Amend
The list is literally endless when it comes to the reasons why you can get ghosted on a dating app. Many of them have nothing to do with you. Feel free to come back to this article the next time you feel bogged down with using the latest “tactics” to get results on dating apps, and realize that activity, focus, and continual improvement of yourself is what gets the results.
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At SwipeFix we are passionate about getting people dates and results, without BS tactics. Feel free to send us an email with any questions. Keep swiping and good luck!
MORE SWIPE SECRETS (blog articles for Tinder, Bumble, Facebook Dating & Dating App management and more):
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SWIPE BLOG article: The BEST First DATE TIP FOR TINDER/BUMBLE/Hinge
SWIPE BLOG article: Do you need to be flirtatious on dating apps? (guys article)