13 Mar
SWIPEFIX BLOG – What is the best first date tip? (2023 Update)
In 2023, Many guys struggle with first dates, many women also struggle with first dates. There are nerves, and a lot to think about. If you struggle with nerves, feeling confident, or having a successful first date much of it comes down to your mindset and how you feel inside. Those feelings will typically project outward on the other person you are interacting with. How do you control your thoughts? How do you feel loose, free, and interact “normally” on a date so the other person is attracted and wants to see you again? Much of that comes from inside yourself.
“What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.” – Buddha
It may seem woo-woo but other people can feel your energy somewhat. It’s not 100% but after our team going on thousands of dates over the span of 15+ years, and analyzing what has led to a “good date”, we’ve come to the conclusion that what you are feeling inside yourself will many times project on the other person you are interacting with. Many guys who go on a first date and feel nervous, unsure what to talk about, and constantly analyze their every move, will crash and burn or have a bad outcome. This is a natural part of getting better at something. You feel hesitant, and have a million things going through your head. You need to figure out ways of mastering all the information you are thinking about, simplifying it, and allowing that information to become a part of you, without having to think about it.
How the process typically works
If you aren’t a natural, becoming good at dating is a bit like learning the piano, or getting better at a sport. The first time you do it, you feel like you have no clue when it comes to what is going on. You struggle with even the smallest movements and they feel awkward. You constantly analyze what you are doing. After you do it a few times you may feel bored because you’re not sure you’re getting anywhere, and the challenge seems too great. You lose motivation. You dread having to sit down and work at it. You are on the verge of collapsing out of it.
You hit a turning point
Many times when you hit a roadblock with dating, feel like you are getting nowhere, and your progress is stagnating, you come to a turning point. At this classic turning point, usually you have a couple dates that go terribly, or you aren’t seeing the results on your apps. You have an interaction that just rubs you the wrong way, and your ego takes a hit. What many guys do will either stop dating and decide to “focus on themselves”, or jump to another thing to distract themselves, and put dating on the back-burner. Counterintuitively, this is typically the point where your results can start to come if you stick with it. The guys who stick with dating, continually go on new dates to get better will start to begin the amazing path of compounding returns. You get a little better with each date, and over the span of weeks, months, years you start to get a little better. Those skills compound on each other over time, and after enough time, you start to see massive results. It’s like the piano player that spends 2 hours a day practicing. He does it long enough, the key strokes start to become second nature, and the techniques start to flow, creativity and fun start to become more pronounced. If he sticks with it for years, and continually improves, because of laws of compound interest, he starts to become an amazing piano player.
“You cannot give what you do not have. If you do not love yourself, you cannot love anyone else either.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
The best first date tip
So the back to the title of this blog, what is the best first date tip? What is the one thing you can do to improve your dates? Well there are a few front runners for best tips. Some of them include: 
Having a plan when it comes to logistics/location of your date. Starting the date chill and ramping up energy as it goes. Treating the person like you already know them from the beginning. Inserting teasing on your date. Not taking yourself too seriously. These are all good. The best first date tip though as you may have gathered from the previous paragraphs is controlling your thoughts and feeling good inside your own body. The energy you put out into the world will typically be reciprocated. If you can understand this deep down and start to implement it, then every single other aspect of your dates will start to run more smoothly.
How do I cultivate energy that attracts another person?
Typically this is a process of controlling your own mind and understanding that your mind will typically always drift toward negative thoughts. The human mind is constantly analyzing and thinking of ways that the person is underachieving, and focusing on the negative. Research shows, humans focus on the negative 2.5 times more than the positive. It takes energy and effort to control your thoughts and feel good in your own body. This energy comes in the form of meditation, pursuing goals that give you motvation, fixing your health, diet, nutrition and sleep. Among others.
“It’s not what you say, it’s how you make them feel.” – Maya Angelou
So that’s it for today. Here at Swipefix in the beginning we were not good daters. We were awkward, got ghosted a ton, and didn’t see results. We stuck at it for years and changed ourselves, transformed into a much better potential companion. The process of dating is a process of self improvement. There are no huge “tactics” that will make you better.
Did you like these tips? Want to hear more, or connect with us? Shoot us an email and we’ll provide a free 5-minute analysis of your current dating profile and texting. You can send us a few screenshots, and we’ll shoot you back what we think, free of charge. Click here to email us now! (This is a limited time offer).
SwipeFix does dating app management for serious daters that want results. We swipe, message, and manage your dating app for a monthly fee without corny matchmaker tactics. Sign up today on our subscriptions page.
At SwipeFix we are passionate about getting people dates and results, without BS tactics. Feel free to send us an email with any questions. Keep swiping and good luck!
MORE SWIPE SECRETS (blog articles for Tinder, Bumble, Facebook Dating & Dating App management and more):
SWIPE BLOG article: Do you need to be flirtatious on dating apps? (guys article)
SWIPE BLOG article: So you sent a message on Tinder, and CRICKETS. Nothing back
SWIPE BLOG guide: The BIGGEST reason people fail on dating apps (Tinder, Hinge, Bumble)